Too Much To Ask For

 Dear You,
   That girl, that fair maiden that always somehow gets the greatest guy to fall in love with her just by "being herself", I want to be that girl. I am tired of just being just some girl. It is a difficult situation for me to explain. I have always felt like I am supposed to fall in love, like that is my destiny. Yet I feel like I suck at it more than anything.
   It is hard to work three jobs trying to distract myself from all of the shit going on in my head when any minute I have to spare let`s it all flood in, The confusion of wanting a relationship, and knowing that I am not ready for one all at the same time. I mean I want one but what is the point when there is no one that I can see myself with for a long time. I don`t want a fling, I want something special. Something worth my time. Is that too much to ask for?