Zombie Life.
Dear You, 
   It always seems like I never have a break. There is never a pause to take a breath. Maybe it's because I never take the time. I always just push away doing things like maybe there will be a better time later. But the truth is I can't just keep putting it off. Because this is life and it's never going to pause for me. I need to just take the time and have and get things done. I can't just sit around tired all the time, waiting for something better. Something better isn't just going to come, I have to go out and get it. I just have no energy. Like I feel half asleep all throughout the day everyday. It's not normal and it's not because I don't get enough sleep because I do. I thought I was finally untangled from this web of depression but maybe I'm still caught in the middle. Maybe it's worse than before. I don't feel sad. I don't feel like crying. I don't feel like the world is ending like I used to. But i don't feel happy. I don't even feel alive. I feel like I'm just floating here, numb. Like I am merely existing, not living. All I know is I don't want to feel that way. I want to feel alive. I want to be happy and healthy. It just all seems so out of reach. Every time I take a step I get another slap in the face. It just doesn't seem worth it to me. I don't want to work my ass off to have the average American life. Why is it so easy for some and 100x harder for others? I just need energy. Give me that and I will do great things. I have the determination, I have the will, I just don't have the energy. Why has it been stolen in the first place? I just want to wake up and go through the day feeling like I am actually awake. Like for once my eyes are completely wide open and I am well rested and ready. Please. Just give it back. I don't want to live like a zombie anymore.